Are You Enabling a Bad Relationship?

When we feel trapped in a bad relationship, it can be easy to think of our spouses as the ones who are causing all the problems. However, it’s also important to do some reflecting and think about if we are doing anything to enable a toxic dynamic in a relationship.

The following are a few of the most common signs marriage therapists note as contributing to unhealthy relationship patterns:

• Always putting your spouse’s needs ahead of your own: There is always some element of compromise and sacrifice in any healthy relationship. But this can be unhealthy if you consistently and almost without fail prioritize your partner’s needs ahead of your own. A healthy relationship should take both partner’s needs into account.
• Constantly finding yourself apologizing: Not all conflict in a relationship is bad. Sometimes you must directly approach problems to come to lasting, healthy resolutions. If you find yourself constantly apologizing as a way to avoid conflict, even if you do not have anything to apologize for, then you could be letting bad feelings and toxicity fester.
• Never reaching out for help: Many enablers tend to take the mindset of taking on too much because they do not trust their partners. This often leads to a buildup of stress and anxiety, along with resentful feelings.
• Your relationship doesn’t improve: If, even despite your best efforts to eliminate conflict and strife, your relationship is not improving, it could simply be because your partner is not putting in enough effort. There is nothing you can do to change or accommodate a partner who does not wish to make necessary changes.
• Your life fully revolves around your partner: You can enjoy passions with your partner, but that doesn’t mean you should give up your own passions or interests. If you find yourself putting your own hobbies or goals aside to please your partner, you could be enabling an unhealthy relationship.

If you have been experiencing tough times in your marriage and believe that divorce may be a good option, meet with an experienced family law attorney at Jakubowski, Robertson, Maffei, Goldsmith & Tartaglia, LLP.