How to Deal With Your Spouse’s Stonewalling in a Divorce
Stonewalling is negative behavior by a spouse that can manifest as silent treatment, non-responsiveness or outright refusal to engage in meaningful conversation. In a divorce, it may appear as a tactic to gain control or as an emotional response to the stress of the situation. Regardless of the intent, stonewalling prolongs divorce proceedings and increases emotional distress.
Typically, stonewalling in a divorce involves one spouse consistently ignoring messages and demands for documents or dodging negotiations about support, asset division or custody. Whether used strategically or as a psychological defense, this behavior not only stalls the divorce process but also can make the other spouse embittered, perhaps pressuring them to make unsatisfactory concessions.
Preventing an impasse in a divorce case due to stonewalling requires a well-thought-out approach. First, identify the nature of the stonewalling. If it appears to be an emotional blockade, professional counseling or therapy can be beneficial for both parties to explore the underlying issues. This not only aids in resolving the immediate communication issues but also may help in healing emotional wounds, potentially leading to a more amicable resolution.
If the stonewalling is tactical, mediation can be a valuable tool. This process involves a neutral third party who helps facilitate communication and negotiation between the spouses. Mediators are skilled in breaking down barriers to communication and in creating an environment for both spouses to express their needs and concerns. This can be particularly effective in moving past stonewalling, as it addresses the material issues of the divorce in a manner that helps both parties find common ground.
Among the worst ways to respond to stonewalling are retaliating with anger or stonewalling in return. These reactions can lead to a cycle of non-communication, making the divorce process more contentious and painful for everyone involved, especially children. Additionally, pressing the stonewalling spouse too hard can lead to further withdrawal and entrenchment in their position.
Regardless of the underlying cause for stonewalling, it’s important to maintain documented communications, including those involving your divorce attorney. This ensures that all efforts to engage the stonewalling spouse are able to be proved, which can become important in proceedings before a judge. Setting clear expectations and being consistent in your strategies can help mitigate the effects of stonewalling and move the divorce process forward.
Jakubowski, Robertson, Maffei, Goldsmith & Tartaglia, LLP in St. James, NY, offers comprehensive legal services in divorce matters for people across Long Island. Our experienced attorneys are adept at handling cases involving unresponsive parties, devising strategies to move the divorce process forward. Call us at 631-360-0400 or contact us online to arrange a free consultation.