Should You Try Dating During Your Divorce?
Divorce can be emotionally, physically and financially exhausting. When a new potential partner comes along, it can seem like an antidote to the heartbreak and stress. It’s great to feel appreciated and desired after a major blow—but could it jeopardize your divorce?
While every relationship and divorce are different, here are some reasons to reconsider dating during your divorce:
Conflict with your ex-spouse and relatives
Not everyone is on a rational, even keel after their divorce. Dating a new person—even if your ex left you—can increase conflict during the divorce process. Your ex may feel wounded, and less likely to compromise on an appropriate marital settlement. Meanwhile, your friends and family, especially your in-laws, may judge your choices negatively.
It could affect your children
If you have children, divorce can take a heavy toll upon them. Most children wish their parents would stay together, especially if you’ve done a good job of hiding conflict from them. Seeing you move on to a new partner—even if you’ve grieved the marriage already—can make it harder for them to heal.
Furthermore, dating can impair your parenting time, especially if you’re hoping to reach an agreement with your spouse. Alternatively, you might agree to less parenting time in service of your new relationship, only to regret it later when the relationship ends.
In addition, if there is an issue of custody, if you expose the children to your new relationship and it found to be contrary to their best interests, this can impact the custody and parenting time determination.
There may be financial repercussions
While New York typically does not consider adultery egregious enough to bar spousal support or equitable distribution of assets, the implication could interfere with your settlement. For example, if you’re spending marital resources on your new partner, your ex may decide to fight you on spousal support and asset division. Plus, the more contentious the divorce, the longer it can drag on. This can be quite expensive.
Ultimately, the choice is yours—but most people benefit from holding off until after a settlement. In addition, it is always advised to not introduce the children to any new partner while the matter is pending.
For help with your divorce, contact the seasoned divorce attorneys at Jakubowski, Robertson, Maffei, Goldsmith & Tartaglia, LLP today.